BIG!

I am an over-the-top, larger than life kinda gal. I like to do everything BIG! I figure, "why bother?"  if I can't do something on a grand scale. It's a weird, quirky thing about myself that I have learned to accept over time.

I am sure I need some sort of medication.

So when I walked around my house this evening, I intentionally ignored all the piles of laundry, the fact that my bare feet were sticking to the floor, and half-filled cups in every room of my house. I don't have time to tackle a deep clean this week. So why bother even tidying up a few flat surfaces. I told you I am an all-or-nothing woman.

When a random thought popped in my head that I should set the table pretty for dinner tonight, I wondered who had put something in my cup of tea. Totally unlike me. My kids were at a baseball game with their daddy, I had the house to myself. I could practice my denial tactics with no one to influence by my poor example. Or my excellent example--of a sluggard! :)

My house looks like a tornado hit. I would ordinarily serve the crock pot meal on paper goods and toss it all in the trashcan on a night like tonight. But that disturbing thought was planted in my head--set the table pretty for my family.

Without so much as wiping off this morning's cheerios, I put a cloth over my table. Wrinkles and all. I placed my Mothers Day bouquet in the center and folded up some napkins next to our everyday dishes. Nothing fancy.

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY OOOHed AND AHHHed OVER MY SIMPLE 5 MINUTE GESTURE!

When we had our "best, worst and weirdest" table time conversation, all of my children said that my nice dinner was their "best" for today. My not-normally-gushing, in fact, mostly-unobservant boy thanked God in his prayer for his wonderful mommy and her beautiful (HIS word) table. Kate said she felt like she was at a five star  restaurant. Did I mentioned that the kitchen counter was laden with morning (and afternoon) dishes, the chairs needed to be swiped off before sitting because of crumbs, and you could see the bumps underneath the cloth? Nothing beautiful in this picture. Not one fancy thing. But this simple little bit of five-minute effort made the world of difference to my family.

Why do I always feel like I have to do things perfectly if I am even going to make an attempt? This warped need or pressure or feeling or mental handicap or whatever it is paralyzes me from even beginning some things. Good things.  

I do believe that good is the enemy of best. I do. In some areas. But I need to balance this belief with a big 'ole dose of GRACE. I am beginning to see that ordinary, small, random acts of kindness are what fill my days with quiet joy and pleasure.

All the small, almost insignificant moments that go unnoticed if I am not careful. Mindful.

Sisters on their bellies in the grass, rehearsing their lines for drama. Hair shining in the sun. Not a moment of sibling rivalry or bickering.

Little boy rocking back and forth on a pretend-pony at the park. "Look at me mommy!". And that beaming proud face.

Monkey-boy scaling the net at the soccer field and righting himself with incredible dexterity as he almost falls on his head. Almost. And the pleased-with-himself grin that follows.

The teachable  moment in the room alone with the tenderhearted big boy who is still learning to express his hurt. And deal with conflict with words instead of tears. A tight hug to top it off.

A contented kiss from a hubby who doesn't seem to notice that the rest of the house is a health hazard. He is just so happy to have a warm meal in front of him and a wife with a smile.

Simple things.

Oh Lord, teach me to treasure those ordinary moments more than the planned, perfected and prodigious events that I prize.