An Ordinary Life: February 2010

Hi. You are reading this blog by invitation so you already know who I am. Kelly Lee Klungreseter Fitzpatrick. Well, sort of. But I will get to that.

This is a private spot for just our friends and family. Not the world at large. Like the world would be interested in my ordinary life anyhow!

This is my second blog. I wrote the first one for my brother, Bryan Klungreseter. He died. I wanted to keep telling his stories. My dad has taken over that blog and is telling Bryan's stories from his perspective. I DID want the whole world to read about HIS extraordinary life. You can check it out here:

http://inmemoryofbryanklungreseter.blogspot.com/

But this blog has a specific purpose. To keep track of those funny, unique, distinctive, extraordinary moments of life. My life. Or else when I am 80 I am going to get things all wrong. This will keep me honest.

So read the post below. It was the catalyst for sharing here. I didn't want to have to explain our unique "situation" a hundred times. Its a long one--no apologies though. You know me. That's why you are reading here. You know that drama follows me. Always has.

My nickname in college was Katastrophic Kelly.

So really, there are plenty more like it. But here is the first story. Read on:

"Don't be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man!"

One of my favorite lines from the 1989 movie, Say Anything.

My husband Bob and I met in 1989. I had just turned 18 and would graduate from Escondido High School in a month. I suppose OMD's song, "So In Love" should be "our song" since that was the one playing when we were introduced. But it's not.

Music plays a big part in the mix and memories of our story. Bob loves music and he spent hours painstakingly recording "our songs" on his beat up tape recorder. I still have those tapes. Someday there won't be any way to listen to them. Tape players are obsolete, you know. It is all about iPods now.

Back to the beginning. Bob and I watched Say Anything on one of our many dates that summer. Now don't go taking this as a recommendation for the movie. It is naughty and I don't want you looking for similarities in our relationship. And I am not endorsing dating either. So just read and stop trying to make this a deep philosophical thing.

We watched the movie in 1989 as a young couple in love. During the iconic moment when dorky Lloyd puts his heart out there and blasts Peter Gabriel's song "In Your Eyes" on his boombox (remember those?) to win his ex-girlfriend's heart back, I was hooked. That was "our song". Still is. After 21 years.

"In your eyes, the light, the heat.

In your eyes, I am complete."

Sing it Peter. Oh, I can almost feel Bob's arm around my shoulders as we are walking out of the theater.

But back to my ordinary story.

Fast forward to 2010. Years of filing taxes jointly, raising five kids, paying a mortgage in both our names, and sleeping next to one other have passed. After 17 years, we discovered we are not legally married.

"Shackin' up" as a friend put it.

A dear friend, and incidentally a bridesmaid in our wedding, sent me an email calling me her "favorite unwed mother".

My daddy tried to console me by referring to me as Bob's wife by Common Law. Evidently, California does not recognize common law marriages. Even if you have been living together for 17 years.

Blissfully believing, all this time, that you are MARRIED!

So Bob's work changed insurance mid-school year. A big hassle since the new insurer required a Marriage Certificate. Our conversation went something like this:

"Hey Kel. I need proof that we are really married for our new insurance coverage."

"Yeah. So what?"

"Well, do you have any idea where our marriage license is?"

"You are kidding, right? Did you look in the "VERY IMPORTANT PAPERS" place?"

"Yep. Not there."

"I guess we lost it. Better send away for a copy."

See how responsible we are? Like good, law abiding adults, we promptly sent off our notarized request for a public copy of our marriage license and $28. We were not surprised to see an envelope from the San Diego County Recorders Office in our mailbox last Friday.

What WAS a bit surprising were these words:

Marriage between Robert Fitzpatrick Jr and Kelly Klungreseter on April 3, 1993

NO RECORD OF SUCH EVENT

Nice. How am I going to explain THIS one to my kids?

"Bob--you are the one who is going to explain "illegitimate" to your kids. I wash my hands of this! YOU are the keeper of the "VERY IMPORTANT PAPERS"! How come we never missed our marriage license before?"

I know, I know. Not a very good helper. I could have been a bit more meek and submissive. At least encouraging?

But I did laugh. Long and hard and loud.

Evidently, you don't need to show proof to anyone that you are married in order to pay taxes or get a driver's license and passport with your MARRIED name. You can have a bunch of kids and give 'em whatever name you like. Who knew?

Laughing yet? I was until I started to think how NOT funny it would be trying to convince some rule-follower to let me in the hospital room with Bob if he was injured. Or to receive his life insurance in the event of his untimely death (no! he's NOT dying. this is all hypothetical worrying). Or to be insured on my husband's insurance policy! Where this all started in the first place!

I am not who I thought I was.

I am not really Kelly Fitzpatrick.

Who am I?

I am a wanton woman.

Obviously we needed to get hitched and FAST. My dad called to say he wasn't paying for another wedding. There had to be other options?

I got in touch with the Pastor who married us. He lives in Texas now. Sweet Man. Love him. He said he either forgot to file our license after he officiated or it got lost in the mail. Nice.

Several hours and supervisors later, I discovered that these things have happened to other law abiding citizens. There are special forms and procedures requiring more money and two witnesses to the "original" wedding and long lines in the County Recorders office. It will take 4 weeks to process but Bob and I will hopefully be married in time for our April 3, 2010 Anniversary. Our 17th. Or our first. Legally.

But I jumped ahead.

Here's the romantic part, almost as sweet as the Say Anything moment.

In my opinion.

Bob, my husband in God's eyes at least, decided to use this little "situaton" to win my heart all over again. On Wednesday of this week, my man called me and asked me to listen to a song. Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" was blaring into the phone. Then we were disconnected. I didn't get to hear the whole thing. Weird.

Then I heard my favorite words, "In Your Eyes, I am complete" from outside my front door. Weird. Why was Samuel giggling?

"Daddy's outside."

It was the middle of the morning. Bob is never home at 10am in the morning. He's ditching classes?!?

When I opened my front door, there was my (not-legally-but-in-my-heart) husband on bended knee with his boombox (read: iPod) blaring "In Your Eyes" for the world and me to hear! And a dozen long-stemmed red roses. And my wedding ring. And a question.

Bob asked me to marry him all over again!

He promised that even though he knew what he was really getting into this time, he would still pick me. We were kids--young and in love--the first time he proposed. This time, with both of us headed towards 40 with five little sets of eyes watching, I joyfully and tearfully said, "YES!"

God brought us together and God has kept us together.

And here we are, just living out our extraordinary moments alongside one another. Until death parts us.

Or our paperwork gets lost in the mail again.